Nerd Jokes

Here are some nerd jokes to tickle your processor.  (Warning! Some of these are corny)

• A nerd was walking on campus one day when his friend, another nerd, rode up on an incredible shiny new bicycle.The first nerd was stunned and asked, “Where did you get such a nice bike?”The second nerd replied, “Well, yesterday I was walking home minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up to me on this bike.She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, ‘Take what you want!’” The second nerd nodded approvingly and said, “Good choice. The clothes probably wouldn’t have fit.
• A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. Upon being asked the price, the bartender responded, “For you? No charge.”
• As my chemistry teacher always said, if you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate.
• Two scientists walk into a bar… the first one says, “I’ll have some H2O.” The second one says, “I’ll have some H2O, too.” And then he dies.
• Customer: My friggin pc keeps freezin up!
  Tech: Let’s try restarting it, sir.
  (Customer reboots)
  Tech: What’s happening now?
  Customer: Nuthin!
  Tech: Are you hung?
  Customer: Like a mule, what’s that got to do with it?
• A higgs boson walks into a church, and the priest says, “hey, no higgs bosons in here, you call yourself the God Particle, that’s sacrilegious!” The higgs boson says, “Hey, if you don’t let me in here, how are you gonna have mass?”